My aim in life isn’t so much the pursuit of happiness as the happiness of pursuit.
I will never be able to explain how dreams work, and until recently I wasn’t much of an actual dreamer. My sleep was a never ending bottomless pit of pitch black darkness that my eyes, or rather my inner eyes constantly stared into till I woke up and that was okay with me, I was fine not dreaming. Sleep is one of those times you get to overcome the realities of life and for those of us who are lucky not to be suffering from insomnia or any other sleeping disorders it is the one time we are all equal.
That managing director of a multinational corporation sleeping in a water mattress with adjustable temperatures and soothing sound recording of rushing rain, cuddling in bed with his hot fat – free wife and the homeless guy in the street sleeping on some cardboards he laid somewhere outside the multinational corporation head offices and sleep embraced them both become two equal beings. They forget about their wealth and immense pool of problems and the goal seems only to make things work from daybreak to nightfall. Ernest Hemingway said and I quote, “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” so true you will agree.
I just woke up from another one of my now consistent dreams in which a friend of mine and I were digging for gold in a deep trench. The more we dug, the more gold we found and we kept digging until I realized the trench was sinking with us and I quickly told this friend that we had to get out and leave the gold behind. While we made our way out of the trench some of our other friends rushed in to get some of it out and were quickly buried in with the gold. We were looking for the gold to make ourselves happy and I realized when I woke up that I was happy digging for the gold with a friend by my side even though I did not actually get to keep any. My dream was a story more or less like The Alchemist and I will probably make a tiny book out of it to read it to read to my kids during bed time. This is the answer from the universe after a heated debate with a friend on weather we need wealth in order to be happy, a motion i supported relentlessly showing my love for money and the finer things in life without the slightest shred of shame. The universe answered me after I survived the sinking gold mine. We go looking for what has been there the whole time and we live life competing over wealth and material things all this in order to be happy when happiness in not an object but rather a feeling that can’t be touched by physical hands but resides in a warm heart.
I recently engaged a couple of friends in a heated debate. I was trying to explain to them why I had quit Facebook and other social media sites right after highschool. I used to be a social media freak back in highschool, I had accounts to at least ten social media platforms that I was actively involved in. What can I say, being a teenager is not an easy task. It’s the one time in life when you are all trying to be unique but end up looking exactly the same, in the way you talk, the way you dress and almost every other aspect of life. So I recently went back on Facebook, the social media platform that accommodates some of the most immature minds the world has ever had to deal with and this is why I love twitter, I am not saying twitter is free of immature minds, no. In fact they are everywhere, this people are like bugs you can never shake them off, but twitter has just proven a little too mature for this folks to use. The reason I quit Facebook in the first place was because I was tired of going through their walls and hitting my head hard on them. Every time I walked down their timeline there was a picture of someone with an evil grin reminding me how fun their life is while I spend my time in tiny short watching The Avatar, Legend of the Last Air Bender in the house for the better part of my day.
Someone would post a picture of their weekend escapades on a yacht party somewhere down at the coast in the beach they call Diani. Where it is only my brain that has had the privilege to go to in thoughts or how they hung out with that cool clique of guys who pierced just about everywhere possible on their skin with tattoos reminding me of how fast I was growing old and couldn’t keep up with the trend. So I quit Facebook, I left it for the cool kids who could handle the pressure and the sad ones who only smiled in the picture creating a facade of “I – got – my – shit – together” with a tonne of likes on their pictures, a tonne of friends and the ever growing number of followers yet they still remained lonely and sleep with wet pillows night after night. That is why I left Facebook and all social media platforms for twitter where I followed folks that just made me laugh and folks I look up to, where no one really flaunts what there life is like and even if they do none of the residents of tweetville gives a hoot. Where words are limited and you have to be really good to express your deepest and most intriguing thoughts in just 140 characters. I love twitter. My ex would never be able to tell us how much she loves the new guy, I know this because she was poor with words.
I went back to Facebook recently though, in a bid to increase the readership of my blog, this blog, and I hard forgotten why I left Facebook in the first place and then one night it all came back to me. I had done virtually all the constructive things I do with Wi-Fi in the house and I lay in bed with my PC looking for the latest cat videos that was becoming an internet sensation and I downloaded new sponge Bob and king Julian wallpapers for my desktop background when I started again. I started stalking people who at one time were my friends but we went our separate ways for some reason. My highschool friends and my exes who for some reason had become immensely good looking like they were doing so fine in life or maybe it was a tonne of filters on their photos all thank to smart phones. Wondering weather the new guys were better looking than I am but I was hoping it was the filter on her iphone6. It had to be, I am the last species of the remaining almost extinct handsome men in the world, right in the same club as William Levy, Brad Pitt and Nick Cannon. Justin Bieber does not make part of the list so stop thinking about it.
So basically the debate was about wether they got disturbed with social media and right about everyone I interviewed had felt the pressure especially if you have a Facebook or an Instagram acount. I have learnt to tell this desperate characters whose success is a measure of how many followers they have and the number of likes they get on a single picture per minute. This are the people that constantly update their status on every social media platforms and change their profile pictures about a hundred and one times on a day with slow internet connectivity.
They are the folks that came up with the mcm and wcw shenanigan to flaunt their spouses to the rest of the world and their exes as a way of telling that they were having the time of their lives when their social lives was screaming for help as it went swirling down the toilet. This folks would literally sell their kidneys to replace their lost smart phones. They are the middle class, the lower middle class and the other class down there that own Smartphones twice their monthly salaries trying to keep up with the trend. The guys who would put up pictures of what they were having at some not – so – fancy fast food restaurant like KFC and Java. This are the ladies that go taking a tonne of selfies virtually everywhere and you will be stuck at the back of the matatu trying to hide your head behind the seats not to photo bomb their caption. This people go out and forget to have fun in preference to capturing fun in digital photography so that they can later flaunt it to the rest of the world. This people solicite for selfies with celebrities and public figures on the verge of begging on their knees and later they won’t stop talking about it.
This folks look like they are happy and that is just it, for most of them, they look like they are happy but they really are not, not with 12k followers on Instagram and 300 likes on a single picture in just 30 minutes. This numbers don’t wipe there tears or whisper in their ears, ” I love you. ” they are the dumb people with smartphones that never check up on you when you lose your smartphone and are unable to be on social media because they can only maintain virtual friendship but have little or no idea of how to find their way in the streets of true friendship. They don’t know how to hold a good conversation without a hash tag and they text on while you blubber away as nothing but a distant voice . I see this lovers that don’t take time to look into each others eyes and have little or nothing to say when they meet in person but will text to the point of pulling an all – nighter as if they were waiting for their end of semester exams. This people don’t get a good joke not unless it’s an easy to decipher meme that comes with an image for them to laugh with each other using emoticons 😁😁😁 Lol – ing and LMFAO – ing at each other.
I often wonder, don’t they miss the sound of a good laughter from the ones they love. Do people get to make out, touch or even make love anymore or do we make love to gadgets when we send nudes, embarrassing pictures of our flaccid genetalia peeping from an over grown bush or curly thickets begging to be trimmed. I see this folks on route to and from school, in the matatu. This people that don’t look outside the window to watch the rest of the world racing in the opposite direction and get scared that they are probably rushing to hell as much as it’s a concept created by the mind that a part of me remains torn on wether or not to believe . I was there at one time.
Onduu S Oluoch